Spaceship (1983)

aka The Creature Wasn't Nice, aka Naked Space

How bad is it? Unfunny space comedy.
Should you see it? Maybe if you're really desperate.

I always confuse this film with "Galaxina" for some reason; they're both SF comedies from the early 1980's, but that's all they have in common. This one has Leslie Nielsen, Cindy Williams and Patrick Macnee and a number of songs, most notably the alien singing "I Want to Eat Your Face." It seems like it would work on paper and the cast is fine. It just falls flat for some reason.

Soul Survivors (2001)

How bad is it? Dull psychological horror posing as a teen horror flick.
Should you see it? No.

The attractive young cast will probably appeal to many: Melissa Sagemiller, Casey Affleck, Eliza Dushku and Luke Wilson and a few others. The story has a car accident where someone dies and then weird things start to happen, with reality and dream sequences merging. There's a plot twist at the end that explains everything, which takes far too long to be revealed and which I had guessed from reading the plot synopsis on the DVD. There's one good joke based on one character's sexual identity, but that doesn't make up for the general homophobia of the film. You've seen this before, done better. For once, though, I've reviewed a film with a competent plot, direction, acting and film-making; it's just not good.

Sorority House Party (1992)

aka Rock and Roll Fantasy

How bad is it? Wow this sucks.
Should you see it? No.

A male model is held in a sorority house while his manager wants to kill him. This has nothing going for it - a couple of lame jokes, some brief nudity in the early going, no more. This isn't worth wasting more time describing.

Sorority House Massacre II (1990)

How bad is it? It's exactly the rubbish the title suggests.
Should you see it? Yes, for two contradictory reasons.

Something must be wrong, as this is the second Jim Wynorski film I've said good things about this week [Sorceress]. He's made this film and concurrently shot "Hard to Kill" which is essentially the same film, but not good enough to review. It has every cliche imaginable and delivers the goods promised in the title, making this a typically misogynist slasher film. Its prurience is so apparent and its titillation so constant, some have argued that it was meant as a parody; I've seen enough Wynorski films to know it's not, but it's interesting to watch it that way.

The film has flashbacks to the wrong movie - it shows "Slumber Party Massacre" shots, rather than "Sorority House Massacre." Did Wynorski not know - and is that why this film has no connection to the original - or is this an in-joke? Again, it's interesting to speculate. The plot has girls rehabbing the building of the first film because it's cheap and could make a decent sorority house - then they get killed, one by one.

There's a maniac running around with a guitar with an attached giant drill, a phallic symbol that'd be hard to miss if there weren't odd moments of riffs in unusual places... I can't make my point without a spoiler. You can skip this next paragraph, if you care.

SPOILER
The obvious killer weirdo is not the actual killer. One of the girls has been possessed by a spirit uncovered in the rehab of the building. When the typical climax, where the killer takes an inhuman amount of punishment before finally being offed, happens, it's happening to an innocent man! That's original, and a bit unsettling, if you think about it.

There's a twist at the end that actually works, though it kind of subverts the whole film and even the whole genre. Whether that's good or bad is moot; it's an enjoyable watch.

Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (1990)

How bad is it? It's about what you'd expect from the title - not good.
Should you see it? Sadly, no.

I think that most people see this for the same reason I did, that they like "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" and hope this is a sequel. Instead, they get a shot on 16mm largely bloodless slasher starring Deborah Dutch and Len Lesser (Uncle Leo on "Seinfeld"). A convict escapes, attacks our heroine who escapes, and then disappears. Then the girl and her friends, each more annoying than the last, go camping. The girl's uncle explores a cave for Native American artifacts and gets possessed by an extremely cheap-looking mask, gets extremely cheap-looking monster makeup and terrorizes the cast. Lesser, as a backwoodsman, comes to a firearm-toting monster hunt. This film has nothing (except skin): no plot, acting, direction, cinematography, lighting, sound, effects, characters to care about or action.

Sorceress (1995)

aka Temptress

How bad is it? Low budget supernatural thriller that works, despite itself.
Should you see it? Yes. Not because it's so-bad-it's-good, though.

This is why I still watch Jim Wynorski films. His first films were thoroughly enjoyable trash, but then he started grinding out boob films with nothing else going for them. Occasionally, when he tries, he manages a fun little film like this one. A woman (Julie Strain) helps her husband succeed by killing off anyone that stands in his way. Then it turns out one of those people (Linda Blair) is a witch and people start getting payback. There's a lot of bad 80's hair and fashion... and a lot of boobs - it is a Wynorski film, after all - but there's characters you care about, a plot and some action. Grab some popcorn, sit back and enjoy.

Song of Norway (1970)

How bad is it? Marginal kitschy musical.
Should you see it? Is "pretty, but pretty dull" good enough for you?

It's been a while since I covered a film panned by the Medved brothers. This one is the life story of Edvard Grieg, shot mostly in Norway (in Cinerama, which doesn't hold up on a home screen) and featuring the music of Grieg - lots of it; 40-50 numbers of it, some repeated, about half with added lyrics from the operetta from which this was based. You know what Grieg's music didn't need? Lyrics. You know what Grieg's life didn't have? Dramatic tension. Nothing happens; Grieg's early struggles were minimal and you know historically he succeeds and you can tell why because you're listening to his music. Grieg is played by an untalented nobody who's also the wrong age. Florence Henderson, Robert Morley, Edward G. Robinson and Oskar Homolka and other miscast actors make you wonder who cast this dreck. It's pretty, it's syrupy, it's tedious.