Should you see it? No - it's too depressing for a comedy.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
Wicked Stepmother (1989)
How bad is it? Worst film of both director and star.
Should you see it? No - it's too depressing for a comedy.
Bette Davis agreed to be in a film by Larry Cohen (had she never seen one of his films?), but abandoned the project after shooting some scenes because she wanted some script changes. Cohen then replaced her with Barbara Carrera, some 40 years younger, but wanted to use the footage with his star; this required a script change that made both the same character (the other takes on the body of a cat when they switch). Colleen Camp, Lionel Stander, David Rasche, Tom Bosley and Richard Moll are in the cast, giving a decidedly TV sitcom feel. The special effects are often terrible - simple jump cuts. There are some intentional laughs (nice dig at Joan Crawford), but also some unintended ones. Mostly, though, you feel sorry for Bette, visibly ailing from cancer.
Should you see it? No - it's too depressing for a comedy.
Monday, October 23, 2017
Which Way to the Front? (1970)
How bad is it? Not good, not particularly terrible.
Should you see it? Maybe as a second feature with "The Dirty Dozen."
I saw this in the theater when it came out (I was a kid) and thought it disappointing. That opinion has not changed. Jerry Lewis plays a wealthy man who wants to fight the Nazis, but is listed 4-F, so hatches a scheme to impersonate a German officer he just happens to be a ringer for and lead an escapade with others not otherwise able to fight. It has a few laughs, but seems tired. This was the beginning of the darker, more introspective, satiric films Lewis started making and is much better than "Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the River" (and don't bother watching) and, presumably, better than "The Day the Clown Cried."
Should you see it? Maybe as a second feature with "The Dirty Dozen."
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Where the Boys Are '84 (1984)
aka Where the Boys Are
How bad is it? Pointless drivel.
Should you see it? No.
I don't get it - some people like this film. The original film, from the 1960's had an innocent charm and the hit Connie Francis song, while this one has, um, 94 minutes of running time. Lisa Hartman, Lynn Holly Johnson, Wendy Schaal and Lorna Luft are the girls on spring break in Florida. A male prostitue gets shamed. A (male) sex doll explodes. There's some weird plot line about a pianist and his mother and a mansion. There's a "Hot Bod" contest. Oh, that's why some people like this. It has bad dialogue and doesn't go anywhere.
How bad is it? Pointless drivel.
Should you see it? No.
I don't get it - some people like this film. The original film, from the 1960's had an innocent charm and the hit Connie Francis song, while this one has, um, 94 minutes of running time. Lisa Hartman, Lynn Holly Johnson, Wendy Schaal and Lorna Luft are the girls on spring break in Florida. A male prostitue gets shamed. A (male) sex doll explodes. There's some weird plot line about a pianist and his mother and a mansion. There's a "Hot Bod" contest. Oh, that's why some people like this. It has bad dialogue and doesn't go anywhere.
Saturday, October 21, 2017
Wheels of Terror (1990)
How bad is it? It's just one long mediocre chase scene.
Should you see it? Actually, it's pretty watchable, if you can find it.
Perhaps trying to recapture the TV movie magic of "Duel" - or maybe "The Car" - this TV movie is about a stranger in a black Charger who abducts girls and sometimes rapes and kills them. Then he takes the daughter of a bus driver and she (the girl's mom) gives chase. The chase scene is lengthy, perhaps half of the film, and it had some thought behind it, but it also has its ludicrous moments, particularly at the end when the girl escapes. [Not much of a spoiler, there.] Most people's eye glaze over half-way through the chase in this, but I was entertained.
Should you see it? Actually, it's pretty watchable, if you can find it.
Perhaps trying to recapture the TV movie magic of "Duel" - or maybe "The Car" - this TV movie is about a stranger in a black Charger who abducts girls and sometimes rapes and kills them. Then he takes the daughter of a bus driver and she (the girl's mom) gives chase. The chase scene is lengthy, perhaps half of the film, and it had some thought behind it, but it also has its ludicrous moments, particularly at the end when the girl escapes. [Not much of a spoiler, there.] Most people's eye glaze over half-way through the chase in this, but I was entertained.
Friday, October 20, 2017
Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
How bad is it? Unsuccessful attempt to blend genres.
Should you see it? Yes, but have the fast-forward button handy.
A group of bikers stumble upon Satanic monks who want to sacrifice what looks like the one female member of the gang, but they escape, only to find the girl's been cursed to become a werewolf. The film is s..l..o..w. There's a lot of footage of riding in dull desert, some displays of brotherhood, some drug use, a little violence, a flash of nudity, but no werewolves until near the end. The music's typical fuzzy rock of the era and the lighting is variable, the acting passable. It's just duller than you hope.
Should you see it? Yes, but have the fast-forward button handy.
Thursday, October 19, 2017
Warlords (1988)
How bad is it? It's a Fred Olen Ray post-apocalypse flick, so pretty bad.
Should you see it? No - the cast is tempting, though.
Post apocalypse, cloned warrior David Carradine rescues Dawn Wildsmith from a bunch of mutants, then they team up to defeat a warlord, rescue a scientist being forced to create a mutant army and also rescue Carradine's wife from the warlord's harem. With Sid Haig, Ross Hagen, Robert Quarry, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer and one of the worst puppet monsters ever. There's a mutant head with an annoying voice that Carradine has to carry around. Carradine kills the same few mutants over and over to save on costs. It's all quite shoddy and dull, as Fred Olen Ray-directed films tend to be.
Should you see it? No - the cast is tempting, though.
Post apocalypse, cloned warrior David Carradine rescues Dawn Wildsmith from a bunch of mutants, then they team up to defeat a warlord, rescue a scientist being forced to create a mutant army and also rescue Carradine's wife from the warlord's harem. With Sid Haig, Ross Hagen, Robert Quarry, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer and one of the worst puppet monsters ever. There's a mutant head with an annoying voice that Carradine has to carry around. Carradine kills the same few mutants over and over to save on costs. It's all quite shoddy and dull, as Fred Olen Ray-directed films tend to be.
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Wacko (1982)
How bad is it? Poor horror spoof.
Should you see it? Maybe. Some love it (I didn't). Probably not, though.
It's Halloween prom night (!) and the pumpkinheaded lawnmower killer (!) is back after 13 years. With a cast including Joe Don Baker, Stella Stevens, George Kennedy, Julia Duffy, Andrew Dice Clay and Charles Napier, how could this horror spoof go wrong? Well, every gag misfires. In fact, there aren't really jokes - it's more like: here's a reference to a horror film that you'll get, so laugh, damn it! The film has a lot of people who are fond of it, so maybe it's just me, but I think it's bad.
Should you see it? Maybe. Some love it (I didn't). Probably not, though.
It's Halloween prom night (!) and the pumpkinheaded lawnmower killer (!) is back after 13 years. With a cast including Joe Don Baker, Stella Stevens, George Kennedy, Julia Duffy, Andrew Dice Clay and Charles Napier, how could this horror spoof go wrong? Well, every gag misfires. In fact, there aren't really jokes - it's more like: here's a reference to a horror film that you'll get, so laugh, damn it! The film has a lot of people who are fond of it, so maybe it's just me, but I think it's bad.
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