That's What She Said (2012)

How bad is it? Unfunny comedy.
Should you see it? No.

Alia Shawkat and Anne Heche star as DeeDee and Bebe, who meet up with a third woman (no, not CeeeCeee, but Clementine) and explore terrible dating situations in New York. The humor is broad (pun unintended) and forced and centers on one woman constantly scratching a yeast infection in public and dildos falling out of purses. This was the time when they started making raunchy guy comedies starring women; this one actually has notes of the classic "The Women" but knowing that just makes it worse.

Terror Inside (2008)

How bad is it? Dull horror.
Should you see it? No.

I'm guessing that the fact that this film stars Corey Feldman decides whatever people think of it. There's a virus that switches people's perceptions of pain and pleasure, so everyone starts mutilating themselves. Then they figure it out and there's a terrible "We're the government. We'll take that - and not do anything bad with it. (wink, wink)" ending. There's some gore and nudity, about enough to turn away a lot of people and not enough to appeal to those who seek it out. Besides the weak plot, the acting isn't much and there's not much of interest.

Terror House (1998)

aka The House That Screamed

How bad is it? Extremely low budget horror, poorly done.
Should you see it? No.

The Polonia brothers have made dozens of extremely cheap horror films. This is one of the earlier ones, shot on video and without access to computer graphics or editing (or actors or script writers or cameramen...) The plot is more than a century old: people are offered money to spend the night in a spooky house. This film is very padded - you get to see them check every single doorknob in the house once they're locked in - and still runs just over an hour. The acting is particularly sub-par, with the blind actor obviously looking around. The monster is a mask, wig, rubber hands and torn clothes.

Ten Violent Women (1982)

aka 10 Violent Women

How bad is it? Women in prison film lacking in nudity and violence.
Should you see it? No.

I actually got to see this in a grindhouse in New York City when it came out; there were a lot of disappointed men in the audience. The film starts with eight women (the title almost forces you to count; there are various numbers of women throughout the film) working in a gold mine that is just a cave and wearing very unsafe gear for a mine. There's an accident which causes them to rob a bank - the logic isn't there - the plans for which are unnecessarily complicated. Then they get caught and go to prison, where there's a sadistic lesbian warden (of course) but none of the sex or violence you'd expect. They end up escaping and the film ends with belly dancing on a yacht, which makes as much sense as anything in this mess. Ted V. Mikels films actually got worse over the years, lacking the crude cheap silliness of the earlier films; this was made in the mid-1970's and shelved for years.

Zombies vs the Lucky Exorcist (2015)

How bad is it? Vanity mishmash hullaballoo (yeah I said that).
Should you see it? Not really.

Written, directed, produced and starring Jaguar Lim, a Malaysian businessman, this film has both eastern and western types of vampires and a giant floating banana. What it lakes is plot, taste and a reason for existing. Aimed at children (I expect) and meant to be funny (I expect), this is amusing for a short time and rapidly becomes tedious, as continuous weirdness tends. The "star" plays maybe seven roles, at least three in drag. People get urinated on. There are jumper cables on nipples. An umbilical cord gets cut by machete. Again, I think this was aimed at children - what kind of children, I can't imagine. This film is so obscure, it isn't on IMDb; people who will watch anything with "Zombie" in the title directed me to it. I'm including it because it's possible that regional films from Asia will replace regional films from the USA as the next big thing in bad films (I'll get to a recently discovered regional film from Turkey eventually).

The Yesterday Machine (1963)

How bad is it? Pretty bad indeed.
Should you see it? Yes. It's a minor camp classic.

This isn't the worst "bring Hitler back" film of 1963; that would be "They Saved Hitler's Brain." This isn't the worst film to come out of Texas in the 1960's; that would be "Manos: Hands of Fate." Still, that's some company in which to be. The plot, which the film takes some time to get to, what with starting out with a baton twirling exhibition, involves a Nazi scientist who developed a time machine 20 years too late to win the war. But wait - with a time machine, it's never too late! The low point of the film is a lecture on how time travel works - it's nearly 10 minutes! - which had me thinking of the judge's never-ending soliloquy in "The Violent Years." There's some poor acting, some atrocious (but genuine) accents and some very 1960's hairstyles. It's all very silly, but a bit slow.

Wrath of the Skunk Ape (1997)

aka Wrath of the Skunkape

How bad is it? It's the worst home movie you've ever seen.
Should you see it? Only for debates of what the world's worst movie is.

I'd heard about this only once and then a decade later the makers put it on YouTube. You can also buy it now from the director, but I can't imagine why you would. The Skunk Ape is like Sasquatch or the Jersey Devil, a regional monster, which differs from those in its odor. This 40 minute film is about a guy (nicknamed Stinky Thumbs) who's hunting it. Much of the film is underlit and at night, so it's hard to see, which might be a good thing. There's an actor who's so annoying that it must be intentional and he's annoying in exactly the same way as an actor in"Barn of the Blood Llama," so there must be some small group of people who think acting consists in being as obnoxious as possible. Even those involved in making this feel that it's their worst film - their others all qualify as zero-budget zero-star films.