Pass Thru (2016)

There's not much that can be said about this Neil Breen film that isn't true of all of his films. Someone with magical powers, possibly from the future, decides the Earth has gone astray but can be saved by killing 300,000,000 bad people... and he's the hero. There are people stopped by border patrol, an old man with an oxygen tank being pushed through the desert in a wheel chair, Breen as a tramp who uses drugs to 'pass thru' dimensions of space, green screen background for a party, a house explosion, and a very long explanation of what he's doing being broadcast on TV (and which does not seem to connect to the actual plot). Whether there are multiple storylines, or he just gets distracted from one, I can't tell.

Passage to Zarahemla (2007)

This is the first film I've seen supposedly based on a chapter of "The Book of Mormon," of which I have to admit I haven't read more than one page. Two teenagers, left orphaned, move in with their aunt in the remote woods, who tells them legends of the area. Then there's an earthquake, which creates a rift in time, which causes people to go back and forth between societies. Then it turns out that one of our heroes is carrying a baggie of drugs he got from a gang member and the gang seeks them out (drugs being hard to find in Utah, apparently). This leads to a confrontation between modern gang members and ancient warriors, which would be interesting if anything actually happens, but the kids are saved by a fortuitous second earthquake closing the rift at exactly the right time. It's about what you'd expect from entertainment directed at parents of young Latter Day Saints, but cheaper and dumber than it need be.

[Originally, my entire review was going to read: "So this exists."]

Pamela's Prayer (1998)

I'm no fan of fundamentalist Christian films, but I'm also not someone who thinks they're automatically hilarious. This one is bizarre enough to be slightly entertaining. A single father raises his daughter to remain "pure" by never kissing a man before marriage, never dating, never actually interacting with anyone... and substituting prayer with him for those things. Then she turns 18 and has a date which leads to marriage - how this is possible in the world of the film is inexplicable. The film is creepy and very poorly acted, but it's technically good and mostly hangs together.

Order of One (2006)

aka Order of One: Kung Fu Killing Spree

This film is about a sword made from the spear that pierced Jesus on the cross, which gives limitless power and the fight for its possession. Despite a low budget, this is stylishly made, with good camera work and editing. It's very tongue-in-cheek, with action scenes having 1960's "Batman"-like graphics added; my favorite is "EYEBALL EXIT PUNCH!" One guy gets killed by a bullet hitting a grenade he's holding. There's a fight in a strip club. A guy gets dragged behind a car for quite a while. There's too many characters to keep track of and it sags a bit in the middle, but it's enjoyable. Recommended.

The Orbitrons (1990)

This obscurity was really hard to track down; I wanted it because I thought Lyle Talbot is in the cast, but it's Lawrence Talbot, which given the date makes more sense. It's a black and white homage to 1950's trash sci-fi done on a minimal budget.Aliens from outer space invade the earth, the female being a dominatrix that wants to turn people into zombies and a passive male who wants to do it peacefully. It's slow and has a lot of footage of a motorcycle ride to pad the time. The only interesting thing is a dream sequence where a woman gives birth to puppies.

Ombis: Alien Invasion (2013)

aka Not Human

If you watch this (and you shouldn't), you'll find yourself thinking of films that did the same thing, only better, including "The Blob." A meteor hits a dying rural town and turns people into green slime monsters. then there's a visit from a space algae cowboy (not as interesting as that sounds), who seems to be in control of it. It's up to the townsfolk to fight back. Made for a reported $32000, none of it went to professional actors; almost everyone's performance is painful to watch. The special effects are quite bad. The dialogue is stilted enough for occasional chuckles.

Tourist Ömer in Star Trek (1973)

aka Turkish Star Trek, aka Omar the Tourist in Star Trek

Unlike most Turkish remakes, this is a fairly faithful recreation of the "Man Trap" episode of the U.S. TV series "Star Trek," with some other episodes sandwiched in - there's a Gorn, for example. I'm told Ömer Turist was a popular character in Turkish film and that this film isn't typical of his work either. It's impossible to know whether the intentional humor works or not, as it's not subtitled (yet). The Enterprise picks up a Turkish hitch-hiker, who plays "fish out of water" while a plot familiar to Americans unfolds. It's not terrible.