Friday, March 14, 2014

Actium Maximus: War of the Alien Dinosaurs (2005)

How bad is it? It's a bad children's show stretched to feature length.
Should you see it? No.
It doesn't even have dinosaurs.

I saw this, not knowing ahead of time that it was a Troma release. Troma comes up with a title and a marketing plan and then they film; sometimes they come up with a good film, most of the time they come up with wastes of time, but when they come up with a loser, it's truly awful.

The film has only a few human actors and they are not likeable. Most of the characters are piles of rocks or bean bags with tentacles that speak in gibberish that has to be subtitled. I think Troma overestimated their target audience: they think they can read.

I can't really tell you the plot, as the film gave me a headache and I started doing other things while it was on (got my taxes done), checking periodically to see if it was improving. It didn't.

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