Attack of the Sabretooth (2005)

aka Attack of the Sabertooth

How bad is it? Imagine the worst possible rip-off of "Jurassic park."
Should you see it? No.

Yet another SyFy original (somebody please stop them). This time, cloned extinct beasts kept in an island zoo get released when college students on a scavenger hunt release a virus into the security system. Stereotypes? how about: dumb blonde, dumb jock, goth girl, smart Asian, hot girl, greedy businessman, incompetent security guard, etc. The special effects are so bad that they're almost enjoyable. Some of the many deaths are also funny because they're incompetently done - the owner being killed by having a giant tooth fall directly into his mouth is so outlandish that it's almost worth seeing (but not quite).


Story- I'll say it now, the story sucks. It's a rip off of Jurassic Park. The theme park is called Primal Park and it even has the same logo, with a sabretooth. We have the typical group of college students, a smart Asian, a hot love interest, a goth girl, a dumb jock, and a dumb blonde. And we have the typical greedy business owner who suffers a terrible fate. Plus, a security guard in an affair with a park employee that really makes no sense. Oh, and the business owner's evil brother-in-law. Yeah, I'll stop there. Story gets a 1 out of 10.

Effects- The special effects are so bad it's funny. First, a couple of nameless security guards get offed in the most unrealistic way possible. Then, when we see the sabretooths, they look so fake, it's disturbing. Then, three of the main characters suffer three of the fakest, and funniest, decapitations in movie history. Remember I said the greedy business owner suffers a terrible fate. Well, the tooth on a giant sabretooth structure falls right into his mouth, instantly killing the man, resulting in the stupidest, most pointless, death in movie history. Again, it is hilarious. I'll say the effects are average due to the humorous fakeness, and give them a 5 out of 10.

Rewatchability- Let's just say, it's funny the first time you watch it, but it gets old fast.

So, in the end, the only thing that makes this an average movie is the hilarious deaths. None of the others are quite as funny as the tooth in the mouth, but they're all pretty funny, especially since it's impossible for you to feel bad for any of them with the crappy story. I recommend watching it once, but don't buy it. 5 out of 10.