“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995)
aka Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds
How bad is it? It's exactly as bad as you'd expect from the title. Should you see it? Yes, if you miss porn stars trying to go legit.
This was directed by Fred Olen Ray, produced by Roger Corman and has a cameo by Jim Wynorski. If you recognize those names, you know what you're in for. Three women vie for a centerfold spread. One decides her breasts aren't big enough, so she drinks a growth potion. They grow - in the worst balloons-in-shirt scene ever filmed - but she soon grows everywhere, becoming the title character. Then a competitor drinks the potion and there's a giantess catfight. If the original "Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman" had a feminism message and the Darry; Hannah remake was okay and "Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader" was barely watchable, this one has giant boobs. The women in the cast, JJ North, Tammy Parks, Raelyn Saalman and Nikki Fritz, have done worse in worse films. The entire thing is played for giggles (there's an invisible man sequence that's notable) and there's plenty of cameos, including Forrest J. Ackerman; from the 1950's 50 Ft. Woman appear Tommy Kirk, Ross Hagen and Russ Tamblyn. Put your brain on hold, get a drink and before you know it, you've made it through another F.O. Ray bimbofest.