Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Roller Blade (1986)

How bad is it? It's not the worst Donald Jackson film, but that's damned faint praise.
Should you see it? Verily.

This appears to be a parody of the European "Mad Max" clones, as the characters are dubbed, even though they all speak English; they get voices like Zsa Zsa and Darth Vader, which adds to the idea that this is supposed to be a comedy. There's very few laughs, though every now and then there's something stupid that's amusing - a caped dog, the holy hot tub, ball bearings as currency. After the unexplained apocalypse, there's a female religious order on roller skates (by the way, there's not a single actual Roller Blade in the film) that keep order through martial arts and knife fights. They seek a magic crystal - the plot of a hundred of similar films - and there's a bad guy also after it. There's a hand puppet. The women worship a "Have a Nice Day" smiley face idol. There's a number of porn stars in the cast and Michelle Bauer is the recognizable actress. There's a lot of "thee and thou" dialogue and the oft-repeated "Skate or die!" It's kind of dull, unfortunately, but it led to a bunch of films I'm reviewing next.

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