“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Illegal Aliens (2007)
Anna Nicole Smith and wrestler Joanie Laurer (Chyna) together - that's high-concept, right there. Smith and two unknowns named Lenise and Gladise (I never found out which was which and it doesn't much matter) play extraterrestrials that take on human form and end up battling bad alien Chyna. There's a lot of explosions and chases, some fart jokes, a giant insect and some skimpy costumes, though surprisingly no nudity. There's also not one laugh, though this is meant to be a parody of both cheap science fiction and anything else recently filmed; the aliens are named for the actresses that starred in "Charlie's Angels" for example. Smith does an annoying baby voice that just might be worse than the one Kathy Ireland did in "Alien from L.A." This has a somewhat professional decent budget look, but it's all squandered. It's like a rough draft for a skit drawn out to feature length time.
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