“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Monday, April 16, 2018
Jan-Gel, the Beast from the East (1999)
Holy crap, this crap is crap. And it even had two sequels. Conrad Brooks, who was in a few Ed Wood Jr. films, stars (and wrote and directed) as the hero opposite a caveman found in a block of ice in the arctic, who gets shipped, lost and then thaws and ends up in a murderous rampage somewhere around Maryland or West Virginia. There's little explanation of how or why this happens. Jan-Gel wears part of an animal skin (imitation ocelot maybe), which also makes no sense, given his being from the arctic... or the east, as the title says. None of his kills are shown - people scream and then the camera cuts to the next scene. The acting... well, there is none. The scenes go on forever, aimlessly, mostly people moving from place to place pointlessly. Obviously shot on camcorder, there appears to have been no editing nor thought to continuity. It's terrible, but not enjoyably so.
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