Psycho Pike (1992)

aka Psychopike

When I announced I was watching this some 8-9 months ago, I got encouragement from the two people, both Canadian, who had seen it; it was a lost film until about 2012, when people more obsessed with bad films than even I am, went in search of a copy - it's still extremely hard to find [and, as I type that, I know I'll hear that it's now on the Web or got a Blu-Ray release]. It's atypical Canuxploitation, but more of a throwback to 1970s (or 60s) rubber monster movies. Industrial pollution has caused an already legendary pike to grow even larger and grow insane, jumping out of the water to attack people.


Full disclosure: I've been bitten by a northern pike (possibly a tiger muskie). I was 9 and I thought it was a snapping turtle that got me at first; I had teeth marks in my leg - yes, these fish have teeth - and you could even gauge the size of the fish from the marks. It wasn't that big. Further disclosure: here in Minnesota, walleyed pike is considered a delicacy, though it's considered a trash fish in most places. It's really tasty. Even further disclosure: the further north you go, the longer and thinner fish seem to get; the pike in Canada seem like gar, all bones and no flesh.


Okay, have I been Minnesotan enough here, yet? How 'bout that weather?


The film is really slow. There's endless footage of driving in a Jeep and more endless conversations in phone booths about water testing. The attacks are few, mostly toward the end, and are obviously done by crew throwing the fish. The giant fish is... not good, not even by the low budget standards of the monster attack film genre. There's a character with an eye patch that really hams it up. The film is not without its charms, but not worth seeking out.