“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Gunan, King of the Barbarians (1982)
aka The Invisible Barbarian, aka Last Warrior
How bad is it? Possibly the worst Conan rip-off, much worse than the Ator films. Should you see it? Not really... not that you're likely to find it, either.
This Italian "Conan the Barbarian" rip-off may have shown in theaters overseas, but went to VHS in the U.S. Hitting people slowly and bloodlessly with the flat edge of a sword is instantly deadly, if you're Gunan (but not his twin brother also named Gunan), even if the sword is so flimsy it bends. The film opens with an incredibly long and dull exposition, re-using footage from "1,000,000 B.C." Eventually, once we get past the twin and generations of fighting, one actress showing her body repeatedly and Gunan getting tied up repeatedly and escaping, Gunan hunts down the killer of his mother and finds him and his henchmen in a cave. The final fight isn't worth the wait. And then there's a long expository ending. It's so bad that it'd be laughable if it weren't so deadly dull.