“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds."
Thursday, July 19, 2018
Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2015)
Move along, you've seen enough.
I guess it had to happen: a women's prison film with sharks, directed by Jim Wynorski and starring Traci Lords (who gets second billing to Dominique Swain). There have been films with each of those elements that I've enjoyed, and even in pairs. Fracking causes a fissure to form, releasing prehistoric sharks. The women are mostly out of the prison and get menaced in a cabin. There are few kills and no gore. Amazingly, there is absolutely no nudity. "Crap on a cracker" is about the extent of the swearing in this PG film. In fact, the most offensive things about this film are the attempts at humor, something Wynorski always tries and only really succeeded at early in his career. The plot is thin, the acting generally adequate, the direction and cinematography capable. There's just nothing memorable. The shark is fortunately not CGI, which helps, but it seems to be able to swim through dirt for reasons never explained.