Sweet Prudence and the Erotic Adventures of Bigfoot (2011)

This, unexpectedly and remarkably, is a good film! It's a soft-core erotic film shot in a nudist camp, with a cast of veterans in the porn-lite field. Two women seek to get evidence of the existence of Bigfoot and to get laid and those two goals get met at the same time. There is a surprising amount of Bigfoot erotica out there and recently a politician had a scandal involving his fondness for it, so it's been in the news. This has some intended humor; while the jokes are quite lame and obvious, the timing is good and I was amused (and pleasantly surprised). There's some bad effects, particularly involving a side-story involving the Loch Ness Monster, but it's better than the budget would suggest. As I said elsewhere, "If you get aroused by Jack Links ads, this is your 'Citizen Kane.' If you've ever watched a porno and thought 'This could use Bigfoot,' this film's for you."

Suroh: Alien Hitchhiker (1996)

Ten minutes into this dog, I started working on a sudoku puzzle to pass the time. There's a long intro where a guy tells his beliefs about aliens. Then an alien comes. Then it gets all psychosexual in a way that you hadn't considered, as the alien happens to be gay and causes orgasms telepathically. With effects and costumes that would be poor for an elementary school play, this is 74 minutes of tedium.

Surfer: Teen Confronts Fear (2018)

aka Surfer© Teen Confronts Fear

What can you say about a film that mistakenly puts a copyright symbol in its title? It's a Christian propaganda documentary about a kid who nearly dies surfing, but the mystical pull of the ocean and a spectral electricity octopus lead him to shoot the curl of his destiny, while paranoia and the military... well, I got lost about then. Writer/director/producer/composer Douglas Burke also gives himself a major role with a 12 minute monologue. This seems to have only showed briefly in one theater in California and I wrangled a view online from someone who seems to have filmed the screen on his phone, so I can't comment on the look of the film (and I probably had my identity stolen). The acting is about as bad as one could imagine, with a truly embarrassingly bad depiction of a handicapped man. It'll be on DVD some day, I'm sure.

Superman (1980) and Superman (1987)

Having covered the Indian "Return of Superman," I tracked down two different "Superman" films from India, neither of which seems related to it.


1987 Indian Superman

This is pretty much a remake of the 1978 American Superman film done with zero budget, in Hindi, so you can sort of follow it even though it's not subtitled. The special effects are mostly stolen and the new ones are ludicrous - such as making him look like he's flying by moving the camera and rear-projecting scenery of the film being ripped off. It's really long, even by Bollywood standards, and not worth sitting through for the silly bits. There's a distaff motorcycle karate gang. There's breakdancing (after all, it is 1987). There's a comedy relief character. There's songs, but not full-on Bollywoodized.




1980 Indian Superman

This one's better, or at least stranger, and in Telugu (I think). It's a revenge film with musical numbers. There's some elephants, a child assassin, some really big guys with axes and it moves along briskly, if somewhat incoherently, as I didn't have subtitles. It's cheap, even by Indian rip-off standards.

Steel (1997)

aka Steel Man

I reviewed "Kazaam,"Shaquille O'Neal's better-known film, so I guess I have to do this one, which is worse. Based on a comic I've never read (I think Steel comes from the death of Superman), our hero designs weapons that are being sold to bad people, like street gangs, rather than people who should have them (er, no one). So he decides to weld himself a suit of armor; now let's think about this by itself - how heavy would a steel suit of armor for a 7'1" guy be?! and why doesn't it cover half of his face? and how mobile would he be if and when he got it on? and is there any way he could be anonymous at that size? Also in the cast are Annabeth Gish, Richard Roundtree (there's a "Shaft" joke), Judd Nelson as the villain, Ray J, Charles Napier and Hill Harper, so this could be useful in a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. The plot is silly and contrived and the performances look like it was more fun to make than watch. It's bad, but it's not very enjoyable, even when making jokes about how bad Shaq was at free throws - which is an actual plot point.

Star Worms II: Attack of the Pleasure Pods (1985)

aka Star Prison

Retitled and released by Troma, this is an incoherent mess whose plot involves guys stuck on a prison planet trying to escape and needing "fire gems" to use a laser weapon (I think), which leads to a lot of bickering. There's some stuff in the prison, mostly involving a warden having sex with an inmate. This isn't a sequel to anything, but there's a narrated intro to make you think it is. I'm not sure there's an actual movie in this.

Starrbooty (2007)

There are few things more tiresome than a drag queen who thinks she's hilarious - an opinion I've formed only after watching a lot of drag queen films for this blog. RuPaul stars in this, a feature made using bits from three shorts made decades earlier (which may explain the Jerry Falwell joke, in 2007). Secret agents try to stop evildoers who are selling body parts taken from kidnapped prostitutes. There's a lot of porn actors in this and a lot of male nudity, often for comedic effect. For rabid fans of RuPaul only.