Wednesday, October 26, 2016

How to Make a Doll (1968)

How bad is it? A nudie comedy with no nudity or comedy.
Should you see it? NO.

This is my least favorite H.G. Lewis film, and yes, I'm including "Monster A-Go Go." A virginal professor is pestered by his mother until he discovers a scientist that has created a machine that can create beautiful willing women. This is no "Weird Science," nor even "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" but a cheap, badly acted, unfunny, minimally plotted grindhouse film - as in: this was ground out in a couple of weeks to be shown for a couple of weeks, duping audiences briefly. There is, amazingly, NO nudity, just girls in bathing suits. There's a hunchback, which is always a nice touch. There's the machine, which belches and squeaks for minutes at a time, dragging the run time past the 20 minute plot to 80 minutes. And there's the weird turn of: I'm getting tired of these dolls, so I'll just watch you use them. This has nothing to recommend it.

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