Sunday, April 17, 2016

Angel of H.E.A.T. (1983)

aka The Protectors, Book 1

How bad is it? It's like a later version of a Matt Helm film. Pretty bad indeed.
Should you see it? No.

Taken as a James Bond spoof, this is just awful, with not one joke landing. Taken as a nudie, it has Marilyn Chambers and Mary Woronov doing full frontal, but the film was obviously edited down to an R rating. There's also some very bad prints floating around, the DVD being ripped from one of the worst. There's a Japanese actor playing a German and a German playing a Japanese. There's mud wrestling and naked karate (in the first 5 minutes, so you can stop there), there's a mad scientist on LSD, androids, punk rock (sort of), a cheesy theme song, disintegrating metal done by jump cuts, stolen microchips, a dwarf, tandem hang-gliding... it sounds good on paper, but there's just nothing holding it together. The plot: Chambers, Woronov and some guy try to stop the bad guy.

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