Saturday, August 16, 2014

Two Bits and Pepper (1995)

How bad is it? It's a kid's film that has no idea how to appeal to kids.
Should you see it? As weird as it is, I still have to say no.


Two kidnappers capture two girls, who outsmart them and the girls get rescued. Okay so far, but... Both kidnappers are played by Joe Piscopo, for inexplicable reasons and, when both are on screen together, the green-screening is poor. The rescuers, Two Bits and Pepper, are horses - who talk. They don't use the peanut-butter-on-the-gums technique of Mr. Ed or Francis the Talking Mule, but just overlay voice tracks on footage of the horses. The film wants to be in the "Home Alone" style, but has none of that film's minor charms. There's one good joke which was intentional, but the humor comes from an unintentional source (Piscopo's plastic surgery). This is supposed to be a kid's film, but it's too scary for youngsters and too stupid for older children.

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