Glitter (2001)

How bad is it? It's one of the worst star-vehicles. It wouldn't even make a good music video.
Should you see it? No.

Back when Mariah Carey could sing (she seems to have given up with the advent of Autotune), someone thought she could carry a film and she thought she could act. It's the standard story of a girl from a difficult background overcoming obstacles and becoming a star. Though Terrence Howard, Eric Benet and Ann Magnuson are in it, their acting doesn't make up for the terrible non-acting of Carey. For some reason, Padma Lakshmi is in this. None of the songs are memorable, nor are the performances of them. There's also a number of odd plot problems: everyone instantly knows when she gets a contract without being told, her demo gets played by a DJ without his listening to it first, her concert song about her murdered boyfriend is way too cheery and in the end her relationship with her mother is miraculously better.

Girls School Screamers (1986)

How bad is it? It's a Troma slasher film, so not good at all.
Should you see it? No.

It looks like Lloyd Kaufman's Troma bought this film and released it, rather than making it. It's a haunted house movie and a slasher film, but fails at both. Six girls and their teacher go to a mansion left to their school by a dead millionaire. Then they get killed, one by one. The camera tends to pan away from the gore, and after a decent start, the film stalls for 40 minutes of bad dialog and then drags with padded footage, with occasional nudity and a contrived ending.

Gigli (2003)

How bad is it? It's an unromantic romance with inactive action and unfunny comedy.
Should you see it? No.

Roger Ebert was one of very few critics that did not pan this film, because of the chemistry between the leads Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck (soon to be merged into "Bennifer"); no one else saw that chemistry. Gigli (pronounced Zheelee, not Giggly, which is what it makes the viewer) is a mob enforcer sent to kidnap the mentally handicapped brother of an attorney to influence a court case. Then a lesbian criminal enters the scene and everyone finds they like each other. Christopher Walken shows up at the very start, Al Pacino makes an appearance (as does Lainie Kazan), but no one can save this film. Nothing happens, slowly.

Ghosts Can't Do It (1989)

How bad is it? It made John Derek finally give up filming his wife.
Should you see it? Not really.

After John Derek was a leading man (1950's), he went on to promote the careers of his love interests: Ursula Andress,  Linda Evans and then the one he married, Bo (who looked like Evans' daughter). He directed her in several turkeys: Fantasies (which some say was made in 1973, some 1981, some 1984), Tarzan the Ape Man (Miles O'Keeffe ended up doing the Ator films, one of which I'll review), Bolero (a title using Ravel's tune used in "10" and her name) and then this dreck. Anthony Quinn plays Bo's husband - apparently the only actor older than himself Derek could afford - and he dies early in the film and isn't seen, but heard for most of the film. Don Murray and Julie Newmar are in it, making this a great cast for 1965, when Bo was an 8 year-old known as Mary Catherine. The "plot" has jealous ghost Quinn wanting a man drowned so he can be reincarnated. Bo gets naked - a lot - and, while at 33, she's still attractive, acting lessons would've helped - a lot. More interestingly, Bo wears a bearskin and a fox, with attached head, as a hat.

Ghost Shark (2013)

How bad is it? It's a typical SyFy shark movie (not good).
Should you see it? If it's shark week, it might be one of the better choices, otherwise, no.

This is a case of a great title and premise. A great white shark is killed and then seeks revenge as a ghost and now it can attack from any water source. How can it be stopped? Well, the town of course has a legend that involves the magical cave from which the shark got its powers... Oh, who cares? People get eaten by sharks with ridiculous CGI effects. Richard Moll plays the town drunk.

Ghost Chase (1987)

aka Hollywood Monster

How bad is it? It's a poorly realized child-friendly horror film.
Should you see it? No.

This is one of those films in which nothing works, but instead of being enjoyable because of its inadequacy, it just sits there. Two filmmakers create a puppet that looks like a one-time butler of a mansion that they plan to blow up for their film, but the spirit of the butler possesses the doll and leads them to a hidden fortune. The main character, the puppet, is creepy and uninvolving. There's little tension or plot. I'm not sure why this was made.

GetEven (1983)

aka Road to Revenge

How bad is it? It's amazingly bad.
Should you see it? Of course.

John De Hart was an attorney that not only starred in this film, he wrote it, composed the soundtrack, directed it, produced it, paid for it out of his own pocket and he even sings (sort of) in it. He plays an ex-cop vigilante weapons expert martial artist who takes on a satanic cult. Wings Hauser and Big Bill Smith are in it, as is former (by about 15 years) Playboy Playmate Pamela Jean Bryant. The script is ridiculous, the fight scenes have terrible choreography and the lead actor/director/etc. is incompetent. This almost rivals Samurai Cop in its tackiness.