Grizzly 2: The Predator (1987)

aka Grizzly II: The Concert

How bad is it? It has some problems, but it's a typical animal attack flick.
Should you see it? There's no legal way to watch it at the moment, so... yeah.

Never released, due to legal problems (the original film was in bankruptcy and the versions currently available all have bootlegged music), this film will always attract people because of the cast of people who would become famous. George Clooney, Charlie Sheen and Laura Dern are in a scene together! The film also has deborah Raffin, John Rhys-Davies, Louise Fletcher, Ian McNeice, Richard Jaeckel and Andrew Prine. The cinematography was by Laszlo Kovacs, who made dozens of cheap films look amazing. The concert, which takes up most of the film, is not good and it appears the 14 foot animatronic bear starts a fire at it and survives getting shot. The film was not finished and the rough cut includes the director audibly giving direction. The original Grizzly was a surprisingly watchable campy film and this one is very much like it.

Grim (1995)

How bad is it? It has an IMDB rating of 1.8 (out of 10).
Should you see it? No.

Someone somewhere said this was so bad it was funny, but it's just bad. After hundreds of years, a creature awakens underground and starts attacking women. It's a bad rubber suit and some poor CGI that lets it move through solid ground. You've seen this before if you've seen any monster movie and you've seen it done better. You don't care about the victims, you don't care about the monster (why exactly did it awaken and why is it attacking?) and you will check your watch frequently, as it is very dull.

Green River Killer (2005)

How bad is it? It's the least bad of Ulli Lommel's serial killer movies, so it might be the third worst movie ever made.
Should you see it? God no.

I really can't say how glad I am to be done with Lommel's serial killer films. This one is about the real-life killer of four dozen prostitutes in the Seattle/Tacoma area. It tries to look a bit like a documentary, but it has a lot of made up filler, including new characters like "Boris" that never existed. Shot somewhat better than most low budget films, it has no plot or acting, just shots of masturbation, then a killing, then a topless woman, then two more killings (with some footage repeated)... and then a total of 88 minutes of pointless kill, kill, kill with no real exposition. The one very minor laugh to be had is the fake street sign reading "Green River."

Grease 2 (1982)

How bad is it? It's complete camp with terrible (but catchy) songs.
Should you see it? If you want to see an Adrian Zmed musical, it's a winner: yes.

"Grease 2" does not have the stars of the first film, nor great singers (Michelle Pfeiffer, for example, is merely adequate), but it does have exactly the same plot at the same place and with some of the same characters still in high school after being graduated in the first film. Watching nuns bowl while hearing the song "Score Tonight" does hold a weird fascination for me, though. "Reproduction" and "Prowlin'" just point out how sex-obsessed this film is. Though there are several dance numbers, none of the cast can dance. None of the songs have anything to do with the story. Pfeiffer's character has no redeeming qualities, so the attraction for her must be completely physical... which brings us back to "scoring." Max Caulfield is a complete zero as the male lead. For a 1980's musical, some of the casting is strcitly 1950's: Eve Arden, Sid Caesar, Dody Goodman, Tab Hunter and Connie Stevens.

Granny (1999)

How bad is it? It's one of the worst slasher films I've seen - and I've seen several hundred. [Oh my god. I've wasted my life. Anyhoo...]
Should you see it? I think not, though it has a following among some so-bad-it's-good people.

Eight kids in a house get offed by someone dressed as an old woman, but only after 20 minutes of nothingness. One gets stabbed more than 30 times, yet doesn't react at all during it, the knife never gets blood on it, blood gets squirted from a ketchup bottle off-screen, and the girl - pretty much disemboweled by this point - keeps standing. The killer then seems to transport to another room and kills again. All but one die in short order (the film's less than an hour long) and that one dies of fright. Then, in an epilogue, we see all the "dead" kids at the funeral of the last one and we find out that it was all a prank on her that went wrong. Then the girl herself drives by. The film is remarkably well-shot, causing me to wonder if the people involved didn't know better.

Gooby (2006)

aka A Ted Named Gooby

How bad is it? It's an unintentionally creepy children's film where little happens.
Should you see it? Only if you want to think that "Ted" was pure genius.

A kid with a great imagination and a lot of fears imagines his teddy bear come to life as a six foot tall, rather scary looking, creature with the disconcerting voice of Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid, of Harry Potter). The kid's father (David James Elliott) thinks there are space aliens in their house. At one point, the kid has a head injury that sends him to the hospital, but it then goes on to show a minute of bad slapstick pratfalls by Gooby before saying that the kid is just fine. That's how this movie goes: set something up and walk away. Eugene Levy plays a character named Nerdlinger (no, I'm not making this up).

Going Overboard (1989)

How bad is it? It's near the bottom of the IMDB bottom 100 films list.
Should you see it? No.

Hard to believe this is the first Adam Sandler film on this blog (at least one more is coming), but while I find him tiresome after two minutes of schtick, his fans do not; I also think he can handle serious roles fairly well (I liked "Spanglish"). This film is not funny. It's about a stand-up comedian so bad he can't get hired on a cruise ship as an entertainer, so he works on it as a deckhand and waits for his big chance. A comedy about an unfunny comedian could be funny - Andy Kaufman's alter ego Tony Clifton almost worked that way, but this isn't funny. It's not even so bad it's badness becomes funny - it's not that good.