Never Too Young to Die (1986)

How bad is it? It's a ridiculous timewaster of 1980's cliches.
Should you see it? Yes, for the cast, particularly Gene Simmon's perf.

George Lazenby plays a James Bond-type (remember "On Her Majesty's Secret Service?") that gets killed early by Gene Simmons (remember "KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park?") who plays a hermaphroditic rock-star super-criminal. Then Simmons plans to poison L.A.'s water supply with radiation, so he has to be stopped by secret agent Vanity (remember 1986?) and high school gymnast John Stamos ("Full House" was next year). Robert Englund plays a computer whiz. This ends up being a "Road Warrior" clone, like a thousand other films of the time, but the beyond-over-the-top performance by Simmons makes it worth seeing.

Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012)

How bad is it? It's exactly what you'd expect from the title. Shoddy, but okay.
Should you see it? It's one of the rare Asylum films that bears watching.

How much can one hate a movie that steals its premise from "They Saved Hitler's Brain?" Antarctic researchers are dragged underground by rotting Nazi stormtrooper zombies, where they encounter a robot Hitler and missiles ready to launch flesh-eating viruses on the Earth. The CGI is generally poor, the gore is often believable and the stupidity is unrelenting. Poor acting all around, but the direction is a notch better than in most Asylum pictures.

Moshi Monsters: The Movie (2013)

How bad is it? Depends on your tolerance for Saturday morning TV shows for 6 year-olds. It's fair.
Should you see it? It might be amusing if you're high.

This is 80 minutes of a 30 minute kid's show. Six cute monsters race around the globe to rescue a rare egg from the evil Dr. Strangelove and his sidekick Fishlips; if those names make you smile, you might enjoy this. It's soulless, cloying, loud and much too long; it's also brightly colored, full of music (including a Bollywood number), hyperkinetic and cheerful. In other words, it is what it is.

Morozko (1964)

aka Frosty, aka Father Frost, aka Jack Frost

How bad is it? It's fair to middling.
Should you see it? Only if teaching Scandinavian folklore to children.

I didn't understand why anyone thought this was a terrible film until I saw that the MST3K crew attacked a version of it called "Jack Frost" which is a very poor edit that I've now seen only in their show. In the original, it's a charming folktale with some bizarre elements, but nothing stranger than our own folktales. A young woman with a tyrannical stepmom overcomes magical obstacles to be with her true love (who frankly doesn't seem worth the effort). There's slapstick, there's a cannibal witch, there's a house with bird legs, there's Father Mushroom, Old Man Winter, gnomish bandits
 and bad family dynamics. Nothing really wrong with any of this, and it's filmed well - it was just very badly edited for American audiences.

Metamorphosis (2007)

How bad is it? It's hit-and-miss, but mostly miss.
Should you see it? If you like Twilight-y vampire films.

Look down, dude! Irena Hoffman's worth watching.

I think this gets called terrible by those who think vampire films must involve gushing blood, but this is more of the romantic vampiric storyline. It was obviously made on the cheap and Christopher Lambert's paycheck probably was the largest cost. There's some time dilation and some twists in standard vampire lore, but this is mostly a slow love story with poor acting.

Megiddo: Omega Code 2 (2001)

How bad is it? It's a failed "Biblical" epic, over-blown with some odd choices.
Should you see it? I give it a very mild 'no.'

Leader planning on amassing armies for Armageddon pitted against his brother and fighting over a woman; there's some Cain and Abel overlap. The fight scenes are ridiculous, as guys in red pajama dress uniforms, and the President of the U.S. himself, fight without direction (in every sense). The devil, done in okay CGI, controls the European Union and fights the U.S. until God just steps in and ends it. Abruptly. There's also no connection to the first movie.

Mega Piranha (2011)

aka Megapiranha

How bad is it? It was made by Asylum for SyFy - that means it's absolutely terrible.
Should you see it? Surprisingly, yes, IF you must watch one Asylum/SyFy film in your life.

Former teen pop star Tiffany stars in this second film of a series of giant ocean creature films; if you have fond memories of her in the 1980's, she has not aged well. Genetically modified piranhas escape, and make their way to Florida, continuously doubling in size at regular intervals. Special agent plus fish expert Tiffany go to Venezuela to try to stop outbreak, but get chased by local army. There's a helicopter escape, two battleships sunk, a nuclear submarine wrecked, two destroyed hotels, flare gun into mouth with exploding head, and piranha vs piranha action in a feeding frenzy. At least it's not dull.