Ninja Terminator (1988)

How bad is it? There's no terminator and darn little ninja. Substandard chop-socky action.
Should you see it? The small group who like bad martial arts films may enjoy this.

Godfrey Ho directed 100 ninja films, most of which had no ninjas or, like this one, had a few minutes of ninja action spliced in, ruining the continuity and ruining what plot was there. The golden ninja warrior statue has magical powers and is being sought by Sho Kosugi and two other martial arts students; it comes in three parts and has to be assembled. This film has no connection to "The Terminator" except the title. It is actually better than the other, unrelated, "Ninja Terminator" film directed by Lo Mar, which came out about the same time.

Night Claws (2013)

How bad is it? It's a dimestore Bigfoot replacing the shark in Jaws, with one real twist.
Should you see it? Sure, go ahead.

I'm starting to become a fan of director David A. Prior, whose terrible films are at least fun to watch. This, as usual, stars his brother Ted Prior and also has Reb Brown and Frank Stallone, who have been in their own shares of bad films. A scientist, sheriff and deputy hunt a Bigfoot who is on a killing spree. There's also a hunter with two henchmen trying to bag the creature himself. The sheriff ends up thinking the hunter is really responsible for the Bigfoot killings, so he arrests him, but then the female scientist - SPOILER ALERT - kills the sheriff, because she's a bounty hunter, not a scientist and the hunter killed her boss's son during black ops in Nicaragua. Then a slew of Bigfeet kill her.

The effects are bad, the acting laughable - you can actually see actors rehearsing their lines before delivering them - and, if you don't mind a completely predictable plot before it completely derails, it's a good viewing experience.

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

How bad is it? It's a ridiculous timewaster of 1980's cliches.
Should you see it? Yes, for the cast, particularly Gene Simmon's perf.

George Lazenby plays a James Bond-type (remember "On Her Majesty's Secret Service?") that gets killed early by Gene Simmons (remember "KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park?") who plays a hermaphroditic rock-star super-criminal. Then Simmons plans to poison L.A.'s water supply with radiation, so he has to be stopped by secret agent Vanity (remember 1986?) and high school gymnast John Stamos ("Full House" was next year). Robert Englund plays a computer whiz. This ends up being a "Road Warrior" clone, like a thousand other films of the time, but the beyond-over-the-top performance by Simmons makes it worth seeing.

Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012)

How bad is it? It's exactly what you'd expect from the title. Shoddy, but okay.
Should you see it? It's one of the rare Asylum films that bears watching.

How much can one hate a movie that steals its premise from "They Saved Hitler's Brain?" Antarctic researchers are dragged underground by rotting Nazi stormtrooper zombies, where they encounter a robot Hitler and missiles ready to launch flesh-eating viruses on the Earth. The CGI is generally poor, the gore is often believable and the stupidity is unrelenting. Poor acting all around, but the direction is a notch better than in most Asylum pictures.

Moshi Monsters: The Movie (2013)

How bad is it? Depends on your tolerance for Saturday morning TV shows for 6 year-olds. It's fair.
Should you see it? It might be amusing if you're high.

This is 80 minutes of a 30 minute kid's show. Six cute monsters race around the globe to rescue a rare egg from the evil Dr. Strangelove and his sidekick Fishlips; if those names make you smile, you might enjoy this. It's soulless, cloying, loud and much too long; it's also brightly colored, full of music (including a Bollywood number), hyperkinetic and cheerful. In other words, it is what it is.

Morozko (1964)

aka Frosty, aka Father Frost, aka Jack Frost

How bad is it? It's fair to middling.
Should you see it? Only if teaching Scandinavian folklore to children.

I didn't understand why anyone thought this was a terrible film until I saw that the MST3K crew attacked a version of it called "Jack Frost" which is a very poor edit that I've now seen only in their show. In the original, it's a charming folktale with some bizarre elements, but nothing stranger than our own folktales. A young woman with a tyrannical stepmom overcomes magical obstacles to be with her true love (who frankly doesn't seem worth the effort). There's slapstick, there's a cannibal witch, there's a house with bird legs, there's Father Mushroom, Old Man Winter, gnomish bandits
 and bad family dynamics. Nothing really wrong with any of this, and it's filmed well - it was just very badly edited for American audiences.

Metamorphosis (2007)

How bad is it? It's hit-and-miss, but mostly miss.
Should you see it? If you like Twilight-y vampire films.

Look down, dude! Irena Hoffman's worth watching.

I think this gets called terrible by those who think vampire films must involve gushing blood, but this is more of the romantic vampiric storyline. It was obviously made on the cheap and Christopher Lambert's paycheck probably was the largest cost. There's some time dilation and some twists in standard vampire lore, but this is mostly a slow love story with poor acting.